Expecting—
I was expecting, constantly expecting,
anguished in my expecting;
and yet, I didn't know what to expect.
*
At one time, Psyche, I was still expecting You,
but however steady the gaze I levelled,
I could not find You.
I took wing, and over the land began searching,
believing, believing You were coming,
believing...
I could not find You.
Were You coming, Psyche? were You coming?
I believed You were coming, I believed...
And yet, I didn't know You, I didn't know what
to expect...
Only now I hear the answer:
Poet,
in a thousand ways you saw me coming,
in
a thousand ways you heard the Melody heralding,
but
I was yet too distant from you.
A
yearning that distance was,
opening
the space through which you journeyed,
you
coming toward me
as
much as I came toward you—
Didn't
the Muse indicate the way
so many years ago
her discourses sung on crisis and pain?
Yes, I remember, how abandoned to the world I was!
Has anyone suffered abandonment to the world
more than I?
Anyone naked before the world more than I?
Nothing in the world was I, nothing,
but a falcon soaring...
But
you found the Opening,
you
were attuned for my revelation
by
your suffering.
On
the invisible path,
waiting,
being open, and listening,
all
the while you were searching,
you
were beginning to learn the Art.
Even
then
this was the practice
Passion:
to suffer
Golden Light
into Thread
Psyche, even now the Thread You teach—
Each
moment, such memory work is done,
repetition of the Golden, spinning and weaving
its way,
guided by Your revelation...
I
am teaching you to spin the Thread
of
what is entering the world.
For
I am entering the world.
I am entering the fabric
(And
now I remember and remark
that Psyche had finally revealed Herself.
A Vision, She came to me.)
And She said,
Such
is the Advent of Divinity.
But
a poet must also remain obedient,
each
word ringing with Melody,
with
each order of rhyme
revealed
(And so I realize—suddenly, as I write, but once again—
that I had been abandoned to the world,
my tongue "more flame than flesh,"
for a purpose.)
I close my eyes.
I remember,
Psyche, Psyche, Psyche, isn't my life for the sake of You?
Once again I realize the fatefulness
all suffering is
And Psyche said,
Another
order of rhyme
revealed
1983